Parenting is the most important thing for children because parents must inspire, teach, love and control their children. However, mothers and fathers have different roles, but they must still complement each other, mothers who are more active in the needs of children, while fathers are more protective of their children. [[18], p. 2].

The role of the father according to Norwegian, Brandth and Vande consider that self-esteem for a father is not determined by status and resources but by shrewdness in parenting, interaction with children, being able to provide a sense of security, and affection for their children [[19], p. 2]. So the concept of a good father must contain several characters such as the father figure must be able to earn a living, be a caregiver for the child such as inviting children to play, hold and interact well, be able to be a supportive partner through the father's participation in making family decisions and be responsible for all household affairs and childcare by involving each other [[20], p. 10].

Finally, the concept of a good father must be able to be an authoritarian caregiver in the sense that the father figure must have an attitude of protecting, disciplining, directing and being able to make decisions firmly towards their spouses, children and families [[20], p. 12]. Meanwhile, the role of the father in Norwegian culture says that the ideal father figure is a father who is always ready to take care of the child, maintain harmony with the child and spend time with him. This culture underestimates the figure of a father who prefers work to childcare and reduces time with family [[18], p. 15]. The father figure has an important role in educating because the more active the father, the less likely adolescents are to do deviant things, on the contrary, the less father's role will result in the increased impact of juvenile delinquency [21].

The selection of the story of the Prophet Ibrahim as the object of analysis was motivated by the figure of a father who was able to collapse the authoritarian leader through the principle of deliberation, while the figure of the Prophet Jacob was chosen because it showed how to maintain the mental health of children in the midst of sibling conflicts and the challenges that would be faced.

The concept of the ideal father in the Qur'an teaches that the father figure should have a communicative, democratic character and respect the child's opinion when the child is confused. This pattern teaches that fathers as leaders are not authoritarian but have a spirit of compassion and communication [22].

In the era of the rampant phenomenon of fatherless society, namely the number of children who have lost their direction due to the absence of the father's psychological side, the story of Prophet Ibrahim and Prophet Ismail is here to offer a solution. As the father of the Prophet Ibrahim, he did not use his authority to impose God's commands, but opened a space for discussion with his son. Proving that even though the situation faced is full of pressure, if emotional presence is communicative and democratic, it is able to fill the void so that the child does not just obey by force but feels appreciated for his presence.

An American psychologist who first introduced the concept of fatherless, Edward Elmer Smith, revealed that the phenomenon of fatherlessness is the absence of the father's role in the growth and development of children, both physically and psychologically. Even though the father figure is physically present and the child's material needs are met, but does not provide psychological or emotional support, the child is classified as experiencing fatherlessness [23]. However, through the story of the Prophet Ibrahim and Ishmael in Qs As-Shaffat verse 102 offers the antithesis of this phenomenon.

فلما بلغ معه السعي قال يبني اني ارى فى المنام اني اذبحك فانظر ماذاترى قال يابت افعل ماتؤمر ستجدني ان شاءالله من الصبرين

So when the child reached the age of being able to work with him, (Ibrahim) said, "O my son, I have dreamed that I am slaughtering you. Then think what do you think?" He (Ishmael) replied, "O my father! do what Allah commands you; God willing, you will find me to be one of the patient.[[24], p. 448]”

Based on the interpretation of the book Al-Kasyaf this verse, it can be understood that the story of the Prophet Ibrahim and Ishmael describes the interaction between father and son ideally. On interpretation:

فلما بلغ السعي أى الحد الذي يقدر فيه على السعي قيل مع من؟ فقال مع أبيه والمعنى في اختصاص الاب أنه أرفق الناس به وأعطفهم عليه وغيره ربماعنف به في الاستسعاء فلا يحتمل لانه لم تستحكم قوته ولم يصلب عوده وكان اذ ذاك ابن ثلاث عشرة سنة

It means: "So when the child reaches the period of as-sa'yu (Able to work), it means the age limit at which he is able to do activities. Then The question arises (to work) with whom? The answer is with his father. The reason why the name is Especially with his father, because his father was someone who was gentle and loving to him. While others may be rude or force it at work. So that the child will not be strong enough to bear it because his strength is not perfect and his physique is not so strong. At the time the boy was thirteen years old[25].

In sentences "Dressed" (with his father) if viewed in terms of his balaghah, the Qur'an does not say "work for his father" but "with his father". Which hints that the son and father have an equal relationship, filled with warmth and guidance. Where the father does not oppress the child but as a companion with tenderness and togetherness. 

In line with Erikson's theory of psychosocial development, positive parenting has an impact on how easy it is for children to complete each phase of their development well while poor parenting can hinder their growth and development process [26]. Psychosocially, positive and supportive parenting (as in the ma'ahu pronunciation) can provide a sense of comfort to children to foster confidence and independence, but if the relationship between parents and children is oppressive, the child's development process will be hampered by feelings of doubt and inferiority. He explained that the Qur'an offered his method of communication while Erikson explained the mental impact that emotional closeness is the main subject of the success of children's characters.

So a father must be able to maintain emotional and closeness to his child because otherwise the child will feel weakness in the developmental phase of his life so that feelings of irritability, difficulty communicating, difficulty controlling emotions and even hurting himself [27].

Meanwhile, children who experience fatherlessness often fail to pass the phase of trust and self-esteem due to the loss of a leader figure. So the Qur'an offers a model of "togetherness" to prevent the inhibition of growth and development. A father who truly accompanies his child will find his identity firmly and prevent him from the appearance of inferiority and emptiness of the soul. On the interpretation of فانظر ماذا ترى من الرأى على وجه المشاورة Meaning: then consider what your opinion is in the context of deliberation this[25].

On the word فانظر which means behold/behold is a form of command. Grammatically this is a form of command but in the case of balaghah it is intended to deliberate, not to force. This shows that the Prophet Ismail in communicating with his son has good communication manners, where he appreciates intelligence and provides space for his son, asking for consideration and not directly dictating. In line with the democratic parenting style stated by Syaiful, democratic parenting takes precedence over other parenting styles which emphasize that children have the opportunity to express their opinions and do whatever they want as long as they obey the limits set by their parents. Therefore, parents always provide advice and guidance to understand the child [28].

However, the effectiveness of this parenting style is often clashed with the phenomenon of fatherlessness that cuts off children's learning paths in deliberation skills. Without the presence of the father figure as a role mode related to healthy arguments, the child loses the fundamental basis to know that differences of opinion do not have to end in conflict but can be resolved by consensus. Thus, the absence of the father figure is not only a physical loss but a loss of fundamental fundamentals in practicing democracy in the family sphere. So this democratic parenting is not here to emphasize coercion but as a space to express each other's opinions.

In line with this, Sayyid Qutub in his tafsir Fi Zhilal Al-Qur'an underlined the character of the Prophet Ibrahim when conveying his dream and asked Ishmael to give his opinion without any element of coercion on God's commands but so that his son could receive the commands with full obedience without coercion so that he could enjoy full servitude to his God [[29], p. 13]. Prophet Ibrahim in this story wanted his son to be able to feel the pleasure and obedience he felt and interpret the goodness that he thought was more eternal and nobler than life [[29], p. 13].

More contemporaneously, Qurais Sihab in his commentary Al Misbah said that the delivery of the dream of the Prophet Ibrahim to his son was a form of dialogical communication, not coercion. This is based on the argument that obedience that is valuable before Allah is obedience that arises from one's own will and not from pressure. If the child refuses, then the responsibility shifts to the child as an individual like the story of the son of the Prophet Noah so that the position of the parents remains above the religious orders without violating human rights [30].

This view refutes the stigma that says that fathers in educating must be authoritarian so that the deliberation relationship between father and son is only used as a formality. The phenomenon of fatherlessness today is mostly from the figure of fathers who ask their children not to give space but to test the child's obedience. As a result, the deliberation occurred due to compulsion. There is a power imbalance where children do not have the space to say no without feeling emotionally threatened.

Theoretical support for this argument refers to Diana Baumrind's parenting typology, according to her, authoritarian parents, namely parents who restrict, punish and demand children to obey what they order. Authoritarian parenting does not give people the opportunity to express their opinions and is rigid in setting boundaries for children [31].

On the interpretation of وقيل لو شاور ادم االملائكة في اكل الشجرة

"Some say that if the Prophet Adam had consulted with angels about the forbidden tree, he would not have eaten it [25].

This interpretation wants to explain that the communication between the Prophet Ibrahim and the Prophet Ismail was not to ask for permission but a parenting model. Prophet Ibrahim wanted his son to obey but not because of coercion but on the basis of self-awareness and sincerity. With heavy exam communication, it will feel lighter if carried together with patience [[25], p. 54]. Effective communication with children will occur if parents and children are open to each other. This needs to be done in order to know the information that the child is experiencing to anticipate if there are problems. Between children and parents, in order to create equality in communication, there needs to be coaching where there is mutual respect and appreciation for parents. Likewise, parents also need to instill mutual respect and appreciation with their children. Nevertheless, it will create a harmonious and warm atmosphere when communicating. In communicating with children, support from parents is needed [32].

The phenomenon of fatherlessness is caused not by the physical absence of the father but by the absence of two-way communication. Nevertheless, the narrative of Ibrahim and Ismail in this interpretation is present as an antithesis to the phenomenon of fatherlessness. Where the Prophet Ibrahim built open communication to ensure that children are not emotionally "orphaned" because they have space to be appreciated and voiced.

Based on the Table 1, prophet Ibrahim in educating children does not teach how hard the commandments are given, but how wide the space of communication is opened to cultivate the values of faith without coercion into the child's soul. The upbringing of the Prophet Ibrahim shows that spiritual values cannot be forced. By opening open communication, Ibrahim ensured that faith in Ismail was not born from parental pressure but a belief born from a communicative relationship [33].

In addition to the story of Prophet Ibrahim and Prophet Ismail, the Qur'an also presents the figure of Prophet Ya'kub as a father who has a character full of empathy and moral supervision. The figure of the Prophet Jacob who is so attentive reflects the role of the father as the psychological protector and emotional guardian of the child. It emphasizes that the ideal father in the Qur'an has an emotional character and the ability to understand the child's psychology [[22], p. 4].

The emotional closeness between Prophet Jacob and Prophet Yusuf displayed in the interpretation of Al-Kasyaf does not only reflect the harmonious relationship of father and son but deeper. In developmental psychology theory, it is called the Secure Attachment pattern.

The attachment here, according to John Bowlby, is the importance for parents to emphasize parental responsiveness to children's signals from a young age in order to form internal performance related to themselves and the child's world. If insecure attachment causes children to feel worthless and in the world as an untrustworthy place which results in the child's personality because the child's perception of himself will be influenced by how parents validate his existence [34].

Referring to Bowlby's theory that the absence of the father can give rise to insecure attachment where the child does not enjoy the world as a comfortable place to explore but as a space full of anxiety because the main protector fails to provide a sense of security. So a child who experiences father hunger will overflow their validation outside the home, often in the wrong group and in a toxic relationship in order to gain a sense of belonging that they may not be able to feel from the father figure.

In Qs. Yusuf verse 4.

اذ قال يوسف لابيه ياابت اني رايت احد عشر كوكبا والشمس والقمر رايتهم لي ساجدين

"(Remember), when Joseph said to his father, "O my father! Surely I (dreamed) saw eleven stars, the sun and the moon; I saw them all falling down on me [[24], p. 234].”

When the Prophet Joseph said (O my father) the word was not just a call but a sign that there was a signal of deep emotional attachment. The child's gentle words show that the father (Prophet Jacob) has managed to cultivate a safe space so that his son (Prophet Yusuf) feels comfortable sharing his private experience even though he understands that he will receive an empathetic response rather than judgment. The relationship illustrates what Bowlby says is a healthy internal working model. Because the Prophet Jacob always validated Yusuf's existence with affection, the Prophet Joseph also grew up with the assumption that he was valuable. The two-way communication that started with warmth is proof that their attachment is complete emotionally.

When the narrative of Attachment clashes with the reality of fatherlessness in the present day, it may be very ironic that many children today may call "Dad" but the call is emotionally hollow. Because in their minds the father figure is considered something foreign, or just a material provider. The absence of a father figure in building warm communication like the Prophet Ya'kub can have an impact on the loss of psychological aspects so that it will damage the child in looking at himself or the world.

كأن يعقوب عليه السلام قال له عند قوله اني رأيت أحدعشركوكبا كيف رأيتها سائلاعن حال رؤيتها ؟ فقال رأيتهم لي ساجدين الخ

"It is as if the Prophet Jacob asked him (Joseph) when he said, 'Surely I saw eleven stars (the Prophet Jacob asked) How do you see it? As a form of question about the condition of the dream vision, the Prophet Joseph replied that I saw them prostrating themselves to me.[25]Interestingly, the stars are basically inanimate objects, but in this verse they are mentioned with pronouns and properties that are usually intended for humans. In this verse, the Prophet Yusuf (as) uses the words "ra'aytuhum" (seeing them) and "sajidin" (in a state of prostration) which linguistically indicates the subject of reason.

Because these stars do what humans usually do, which is prostrate. When an inanimate object is juxtaposed with the nature or deeds of a creature that has intellect, then linguistically the object is "elevated" to its position as if it were intellectual. [[25], p. 444].

This verse teaches the value of parenting that the Prophet Yusuf (as) felt that the father figure was the safest place to share extraordinary things without fear of being judged [[25], p. 444].

The Prophet Jacob's response describes the figure of the father as an emotional regulation where he listens attentively to the child. The presence of the Prophet Jacob as a psychological protector who gives confidence to his son to face the problems he is experiencing. However, on the other hand, the conflicts that arise in the Yusuf brothers show the insecure attachment or social jealousy that arises because they feel that they do not get the same quality of emotional presence so they seek validation through physical attribution and group strength.    

Theoretically, the phenomenon of father hunger is the impact of theabsence of secure attachment where when a father fails to become a secure base, either physically or emotionally, so that the child not only loses the protective figure but also feels a lack of unfulfilled affection. In the context of Qs. Yusuf, his brothers showed symptoms of father hunger, namely they were hungry for the recognition of their father, so they were destructive to satisfy their hunger.

Next in the verse:

قال يا بني لاتقصص رءياك على اخوتك فيكيدوالك كيد ان الشيطان للانسان عدومبين

He (his father) said, O my son! Do not tell your dreams to your brothers, they will deceive you. Truly, Satan is the obvious enemy of mankind [[24], p. 235].

According to Al-Zamakhsyari on the interpretation of the word:

عرف يعقوب عليه السلام دلالة الرؤيا على أن يوسف يبلغه الله مبلغا من الحكمة ويصطفيه للنبوة وينعم عليه بشرف الدارين كما فعل بابائه فخاف عليه حسد الاخوة وبغيهم الخ

"Prophet Jacob understood the meaning of the dream that Allah would give Prophet Joseph a high position in wisdom, choose him as a Prophet, and bestow upon him glory in this world or in the hereafter as had been given to his predecessors. Therefore, he was worried that the Prophet Joseph would become the target of envy and tyranny from his brothers[25].

Based on the Arabic grammatical side, the letter fa' in the fakhafa word indicates a causal relationship. Where the Prophet Jacob understood the magnitude of the blessings that the Prophet Joseph would receive at that time, there was also a feeling of worry. Which describes the figure of a father who has a keen analysis of the problems experienced by children.   If drawn into John Bowlby's Attachment Theory, the response of the Prophet Jacob which represents the letter fa' shows the point of attachment, namely when the Prophet Joseph told his dream, the Prophet Jacob not only heard through the words but also caught the future consequences of the dream. The letter fa' indicates that there is no gap between the receipt of information and the measurement of impact. This shows a high level of attention.

However, this view becomes a contradiction when faced with the phenomenon of fatherlessness. In the world of children who experience fatherlessness, there is no relationship between the child's narrative and the father's response. When the child tells his anxiety, there is no element of worry from the father. All that exists is silence, a sense of ignorance and cognitive absence.

Based on the Table 2, the parenting style taught by the Prophet Jacob proves that open communication and respect for the glory of children is the main key to holding on and preparing them to face the challenges of life with a strong soul. Understanding children's feelings without judgment is the main key to building mental resilience so that children feel heard and tend to have high self-esteem [35].